


Inability

by aiffair



Category: Fruits Basket, Fruits Basket - Takaya Natsuki (Manga)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Confinement, Crying, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Fluff, Hospitalization, Loneliness, Love, Pain, Psychological Drama, Psychological Torture, Psychological Trauma, Regret, Sad, Sohma Family - Freeform, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, curse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2020-05-15 01:46:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19285591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aiffair/pseuds/aiffair
Summary: It's hard to not notice the romantic auras radiating off Kyou and Tohru for each other. They couldn't be happier.Yet, a single event. Different outcome from the manga. Changes everything.Just what would Kyo do if he was to lose the one thing he loves?Tohru won't know what 'hit' her.





	1. one

Changing her shoes joyfully as she did everyday, Tohru gathers her things and begins to walk to the front gate of the school. Waiting there just like yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that, stood two familiar males. Their angry, glaring expressions at each other soften as they see her approaching. "Miss Honda, good to see you. How was your last class?" The dark haired boy asked calmly, taking her hand gently. "It was great!" The girl replies happily. She turns to the orange haired individual, who she warmly stretches her hand out to. "How was your day Kyou?" She chirps, smiling brightly at him. He couldn't help but return a grin, and reaches to hold her outstretched hand. "It was good." He said in a calm tone.

The 3 teenagers head home together, hands linked and walking quietly. "What are you guys craving for dinner tonight? I went to the store yesterday so I have all the ingredients!" The brunette girl asks the boys, who's ear perk up in interest. "I want.." Kyou begins, "How about...." Yuki says "Ramen." they both say simultaneously. The group stops walking, silence blankets the conversation suddenly. The boys' attention snaps from the girl, straight to each other, a mutual glare of pure disgust and anger. Tohru smiles nervously. "On second thought, I think I'll request Teriyaki Chicken." Yuki says, his tone cold, as was his stare on Kyou. "Yea, I change my mind. I want Okonomiyaki." Kyou says sternly, his eyes fixed on the boy across from him. Tohru begins sweating. -"Oh no, they had gone 2 days without an argument! I can't let them fight over something like this!!! Think Tohru, think!!"- "That's f-fine! I'm happy to make both, maybe we can have lots of little dishes to share!" She says in a shaky voice, giving a closed-eye smile to the boys in attempt to break the tension. Yuki directs his attention back to the girl, and smiles handsomely. "Yes that would be nice." He says. Tohru's face relaxes, and turns to Kyou again, who still was refusing to stop glaring. Tohru tightens her grip on Kyous hand, which stuns the boy and he looks down swiftly. Their eyes meet, he hesitates. "Y-yea. Whatever you want to do." He says awkwardly looking away. Tohru smiles, and they begin walking again. The 3 arrive home, and the girl opens the sliding door happily. "We're home!" A dark haired male appears, smiling warmly. "Ahh, welcome back! I was just finishing a book report and was feeling a bit peckish." "No worries, I can start preparing dinner now if you'd like! We're going to have our own little banquet!" Tohru says, swiftly removing her shoes and pacing into the kitchen. "Well that's good, I'm feeling like some Tempura tonight. How does that sound?" The adult requests, following her with his eyes. "Coming right up!!" The girl calls energetically from the other room. Shigure smiles, and walks back toward his study, humming cheerfully. "You're in an awfully good mood." Yuki says, his voice monotone. "What did you do today?" He asks, placing his shoes neatly beside the doorway and entering slowly. "Just went out for a walk with Hari, gosh Yuki you're always expecting the worst of me." He says defensively, waving his hand at the teen. "You're just too suspicious of everyone. Could do you some good to chill out a little." The food is ready not soon after and they all gather around the table, eating together engaging in small talk. Yuki sighs, his body suddenly gone slump with fatigue. "You're probably right Shigure, I need to relax. It's going to be a rough few days once school starts again. Tests are piling up around now. I'm most likely tense from that." "Don't push yourself too hard, or you'll get wrinkles like Hatori. That man has never seen a day out of stress with Akito always ordering him around!" Shigure heeds, stuffing a serving of rice in his mouth. His eyes sparkle. "Waaahh~ How blessed I am to be able to relish every night in the loving comfort of Tohru's home cooked meals. I'm in heaven ~~" Tohru smiles, "I'm glad you like it!" She says digging in as well.

The night grows darker as they eat, and the 4 have finished eating by 8pm. The house was quiet, with Shigure working quietly in his office, he was silent for once. Yuki was out, insisting he must harvest the newest vegetables from his secret base garden, despite Tohru's recommendations to stay home. In the kitchen, stood Tohru, contently washing dishes and humming a sweet tune to herself. Kyou quietly enters the room, to retrieve a riceball from the fridge. He opens the door, grabs one and looks over to the young girl. Tohru hears the fridge door close and looks over her shoulder. "Oh Kyou! Are you still hungry? I'm sorry I should've made more food for you. I won't make the same mistake next time!" She says with her closed-eye smile. The boy approaches her and looks over her shoulder into the sink. "You were a bit out of it during dinner tonight. You better not be getting sick again." He looks at her with a slightly stern face. She looks at Kyou, smiling nervously. She was feeling a bit woozy..."I-I'm just stressed with tests! Nothing to worry about!" She says turning her body fully to the boy, clenching her fist confidently. "Maybe you don't have to worry about tests, but you should worry about... the sink overflowing." Kyou says in a low tone. She had forgotten to turn off the tap. "H-Huh.." "G-GAH! YOU'RE RIGHT!" She cries, snapping her head back towards the sink and fiercely turning the tap. "There!" She smiles proudly. "Tohru Honda saved the house from drowning, I'm a hero!" A glint in her eye. "It was me who made you realise you felt the tap running in the first place idiot." He says chuckling slightly. His smile fades and towers over her directly, Tohru looking straight up into his eyes. "Don't push yourself too hard. It might not be a problem for you, but it is for us." Kyou says looking down, Tohru feeling his breath tickling her cheeks with every word. She stays frozen, slightly gazing into his fiery eyes.  
Ah, there it was again. That strong connection the two share. They both could feel it. It was different to the bond between the other two residents of the house.  
A small blush develops on her face. "I heard we're going to the hot springs again soon. You should relax there at least." "I'll be okay! I promise!" Her smile doesn't leave her face. "Good." Kyou replies, a small grin catching his lips.


	2. two

“Ahhhh!” Tohru sighs, stretching her arms with relief. Two long hours of writing swiftly had finally paid off. An invisible weight raised off her shoulders. She could feel her natural bubbliness finally restoring. Uotani comes up from the desk behind the brunette and sits on her desk. “How’d you go Tohru?” Hanajima also drifts over, placing a hand kindly on her shoulder. “W-well, I think I did pretty well!” She two girls smile, showering her with compliments. "That's my girl!" "We knew you could do it." "You studied so hard, of course you did well!" "We are so proud of you Tohru." Tohru squeals happily, flattered by all the attention. "Uo.. Hana.." She clutches their arms which were wrapped around her in a loving hug. "I have to go thank Sohma though, without him I definitely wouldn't have passed with such flying colours." Class 1-D was split into different rooms for the test. The girls in one and the guys in another. She smiles at her friends and gets out of her seat, to go find Yuki. "I'll be back!" She calls back to Uo and Hana, briskly walking out the doorway and into the hall. 

She spots the boys class, and walks in.  
Immediately, a chair flies right past her face and hits the wall with such a force it crushes itself. She squeals, extremely stunned. She focuses on the two boys standing in the middle of the room Tohru stands frozen, extremely startled by the near miss. She focuses her blurry view on two students standing in the middle of the room, desks and chairs misplaced, classmates nervously surrounding them. The two boys were none other than Kyou and Yuki. Kyou was heaving with anger, a slight growl slipping from his throat, while Yuki stood up straight, rolling up his sleeves. “Tohhhhrruuuuuu!” Says a bubbly voice from behind the girl. Tohru turns around and is startled with the sight of a short blonde boy prancing his way towards her with arms wide open. "O-Oh Momiji!” She smiles, opening her arms in response waiting to embrace him. Centimetres away from his female friends waist, Momiji is immediately jerked back by the shirt. Momiji grunts, being pulled into the grasp of a taller individual behind him. “O-Oh Hatsuharu, good afternoon!” Tohru greets the white haired boy, who throws up a peace sign in response. “Haruuuuuu! I wanna hug Tohruuuuu! I wanna, I wanna, I wannaaaaaaaaaa!” The short boy squirms under Haru’s clutch, who ignores his whimpers and just pats his head. “Hug me instead.”  
“A-Ah why are Kyou and Yuki fighting? What happened?” Tohru asks nervously, looking back at the frustrated pair, who were back to melee combating. “Oh! Right after class, I went to their class to tell them the good news!” “Good.. news?” Tohru tilts her head in interest. “Yup! Tonight, we are all coming over to have a celebration dinner at ‘Gure’s house! To celebrate summer break before we go off to the hot springs tomorrow!” Tohru gasps in joy "Oh that would be wonderful! I have been wishing to go there again sometime!" "I know right?! It's a great idea!" Momiji boasts, his eyes flickering behind Tohru. "But uh… Kyou wasn't too keen on going…" The two look back at the fighting boys, watching concerned as Yuki uppercuts Kyou in the chin, sending Kyou flying upwards, then crashing to the floor. The cracking noise made Tohru's heart skip a beat. "K-Kyou!" Tohru, unable to just standby any longer, runs towards him and kneels beside. "Fucking rat…." He hisses, holding a bruised hand up to his face. Tohru shoots a grief-stricken glance at Yuki, whos cold glare pierced through the air into Kyou's vengeful eyes. "Don't be so selfish." Yuki says aggressively, before fixing his tie, and leaving the classroom. The other classmates whisper quietly, all looking at the beaten boy and frightened girl in the middle of the room.  
"Selfish…? Kyou who did he call you that?" Tohru furrows her eyebrows slightly, still deeply concerned about the amount of bruising patched on his face and neck. Kyou sighs and gets up in silence, walking past Momiji and Haru, out of the room. Leaving Tohru on the floor, confused and upset.

Later that night, around 6pm the guests began to arrive. Tohru insisted on answering the door whenever someone came, causing her to dart in and out of rooms constantly. First to arrive was Momiji, who insisted on helping to make the food. The process would have been quicker, had Momiji not hugged Tohru a total of 4 times, forcing both Kyou and Tohru to wait for him to change back, get dressed and start cooking. Second, Kisa and Hiro, arriving hand in hand. How Tohru had missed her little tiger so much. The way her little tawny eyes glinted with happiness to see her big sister, made her squeal with happiness. Hiro scoffs, prying the two girls apart and taking Kisa into the main room. Next to arrive was Kagura, with this time, Kyou being the hug target. Kagura also gave Tohru a hug, before prancing off to join Kisa and Hiro watching cartoons. After her, Hatori, and Ayame. Ayame kisses Tohru's hand, and Hatori greeting her with his usual and formal "Good evening Miss Honda. It has been a while." He says with his small humble smile. Tohru takes both their coats into the spare room, before returning back to the kitchen. "I wish that brat didn't come so early!" Kyou complains, angrily mixing a bowl of condiments. "All he did was set us back like an hour!" Tohru smiles and pops open the lid of the rice cooker. "Oh that's okay~ We had lots of time anyway! And besides, he only wanted to help!" She chimes, scooping a bunch of rice into her hands. Kyou watches as she tries to mould it, clumsily dropping grains of rice all over the bench. Kyou laughs, walking over towards her. "Here let me show you." He says softly, reaching from behind her and looking over her shoulder. He grabs one of her hands gently, patting the ball of rice in her hand. "Do this…" He shows her carefully. She watches closely, determined to master this skill Kyou was teaching her, and only her. In about a minute, he shows her. Tohrus mouth falls open in awe, it was the perfect riceball. Kyou chuckles again sweetly. "It doesn't take much for you to be impressed does it?" He jokes at the girl, who smiles nervously. She feels his hands on one of her arms again. She looks down at her right hand, and watches as Kyou puts a bracelet around her wrist. It was the same as Kyous, the shiny navy blue and white beads were cool on her warm wrist. She didn't know what to say, all she could do was look back at Kyou, words trapped in her throat. "It'll keep you safe." He says softly, eyes genuine and warm. His skin was soft, hands warm, chest pressed against her back. It was all she could pay attention to. Tohru's head grows heavy again, her feet slip under her, causing her to collapse to the ground suddenly. "J-Jesus christ! Are you okay?!" Kyou yells, startled by the sudden moment. Tohru smiles goofily, causing Kyou to sigh heavily in relief. He smirks. "That's twice. Twice you’ve passed out around me in the past two days.” He says in a low, cheeky tone. “Am I really that effective on you?” He says, his face close to Tohru's to only fluster the girl more. She sutters. “A-A little…” She says shyly. Kyou pauses. His heart rate skyrockets. He could feel his pulse in his throat. That was the first time she responded to any of her teasing. He wasn't ready for that. Kyou's face burns up, cheeks all red. His breath hitches in his throat. He shoots back up straight, holding out his hand to the girl on the floor. "C-Come on.. We've got annoying idiots to feed…" He says, looking away from her shyly. Tohru smiles, taking his hand. "Uh huh!"

Later that night, with full tummies, all the guests begin to return home. Tohru, Yuki and Shigure all wave goodbye to each and everyone. Tohru yawns, it had been a long night. She makes her way up towards her room, and changes into her pajamas. She climbs into bed under the covers, next to a sound asleep Momiji, snuggling close to him. She looks out the window at the full, luminous moon. -"Why did Yuki call Kyou selfish today? What could he have done that was so selfish?.... He really did hurt Kyou today..." Outside on the roof, Kyou does the same. -"Maybe I am being selfish... But it's all I want..." The two stare, reminiscing of the moment that happened between them only a few hours ago. They are both filled to the brim with happiness. -"Goodnight."- They both think, before drifting slowly to sleep.


	3. three

The residents of the house woke early, the sun shyly peeking from the horizon. The sky was dimly lit, painted with white small clouds and tones of orange. The sign of a good day ahead.

The trip to the hot springs was calm. Well, for some. Tohru was looking out the window, admiring the scenic views along the way. Momiji was as loud and obnoxious as ever, shouting facts about the hot spring, places to visit in the area, activities to engage in and how excited he was to just be with everyone. His rant was cut short by a wave of tiredness, before falling asleep on Tohru's shoulder. Kyou was also quietly asleep, tucked in the back of the coach, arms crossed and hoodie over his head. Tohru couldn't help but glance over a few times. It was truly a sight she adored. The way his chest rised and fell with every slow breath, the way his lips parted slightly as he inhaled and exhaled, the way the sunlight glinted off his seemingly silk-like orange hair… Yuki had his earphones in, blasting The Neighbourhood songs, which added to the calm and serene atmosphere created by the surroundings. The mist levitating over the mountains, the smell of morning fog, a cool blanket of air engulfing the vehicle. It was very pleasing. Tohru's mind was filled with excitement, too riveting to drift into a slumber like the other two.  
-"I feel really bad, the Sohma's taking me here for a second time?! That would be so much money… No, no thinking like that! I have worked hard these last few weeks, I deserve a small break!"- She clenches her fist in confidence. -"Make the most of your memories here Tohru. Enjoy it."-  
They arrived in about half an hour, Yuki and Tohru stepping off the coach before the two sleepy heads stumble out slowly rubbing their eyes. The hostess shows the new customers to their rooms, joined by two sliding doors. Just like the old days. Everyone was admiring the surroundings, and discussing plans for the next few days, all except a certain orange top. He immediately shut himself into one of the rooms, refusing to socialise. He had been down in spirits, deathly unhappy since arriving. He stayed away from the group, trapped in his own thoughts. Tohru was concerned about how he was feeling, but was nervous to confront him about it. An idea pops into Momiji's head, causing him to tug eagerly at the girls sleeve. "Hey! Hey Tohru! Come down to the river with me! There's said to be pretty flowers blooming at this time of year!" Tohru smiles "Sure! She replies. "Yayyyy!!! Yay! Yuki is coming as well, he knows his way around here really well!" Tohru nods, and looks at Kyou's door. This was a chance to get him in a happier mood. "Hey Kyou lets go to the river! Yuki will show us the best pathway to get there!" Tohru calls from outside his room. "Screw that." Kyou growls, an aggressive tone obviously present in his voice. "W-What?" Tohru stutters, surprised by his manner. The door opens, Kyou's back towards the entrance. He hears footsteps coming towards him, the orange haired boy still refusing to turn around. "Hurry up you stupid cat, you're making me impatient" Yuki matching Kyou's tone with an equally cold and menacing voice. "Stop being so damn selfish and come alrea-" "AS IF I'D WANT TO GO WITH YOU." Kyou yells, snapping his head around suddenly, to be faced with the very frightened, and the very close Tohru Honda. It appeared she wanted to reach out for his shoulder in comfort, but Kyou had turned around and yelled in her face. Her pupils grow small in shock, Kyou's face grows horrified at his own words. He meant that for Yuki. He said it to Yuki. He heard Yuki behind him. Not Tohru. Disgusted and embarrassed with himself, Kyou scrambles onto his feet and sprints for the door, out the room and out of the house, despite the abundance of pouring rain. He disappears into the nearby forest, out of sight within seconds. Yuki kneels beside Tohru with grave concern "Are you okay?" He asks nervously, Tohru still frozen. "I… I have to go look for him." "What? Tohru no, leave him be. He was an idiot and deserves to be alone and regret what he did to you." Tohru grabs his wrist and looks up at him. Her eyes were welling up with tears, pleading him to let her go. Yuki couldn't stand it, he knew he had to let her. "Ah. So this is love." He says to himself. He rubs her back and gives her a nod, before she scrambles clumsily on her feet and rushes outside into the woodland, in search for the one she loves.

Metres ahead, as fast as his feet would take him, Kyou pants with anger, hurt and frustration. His mind was racing, the internal noise was now louder than it had ever been.

-"Time is running out Kyou.

You're too late.

There's no use.

It is the destiny for those born under the zodiac of the cat.

You're useless. 

You have no reason to be here.

You will be forgotten.

You will never be free.

And it is all your fault."-

A pain grew in his chest, one never felt before. He could feel his pulse in his throat. His heart pounding against his ribcage.

Many many metres behind him, Tohru slowly trudges through the overlapping vines and fallen tree branches. Her legs were tired, feet getting stuck in puddles of mud and tripping over large tree roots that cascaded over the ground and into the soil. She didn't care what happened to her. She had to find Kyou. Her tears were now invisible by the amount of rain drenching her face, eyes blurry from the downpour. She reaches a hill, which she slowly begins to scale, legs wobbly from the little strength she has left. She is tired, very fatigued. But determined. "Kyou!" She screams from the hill, her cry being completely drowned out by the savage rain. She sobs quietly to herself. "I'm sorry Kyou. If I am too clingy to you. I need you. Please… come back." She whimpers to herself, holding her muddy hands up to her face. 

"Ahh Tohru Tohru Tohru." 

"What a shame to see you in such unfortunate circumstances."

"It is truly a shame..."

Tohru looks up at the source of the voice, a frail figure standing metres away from her. There stood Akito, both hands behind her back, a fiercely uncomforting smirk plastered on her face.

"A truly, delightful shame."

Tohru says nothing, hanging her head in shame. Akito slowly steps towards Tohru with her chest out confidently. "You know… you nearly did something Tohru. You really nearly did something. Do you know what that thing was?" She asks the brunette trivially, smiling at her. "You tried, to do something, you should never do to me." Akito paces around Tohru slowly, as she continues her lecture. "You tried, to get between me, the god, and my family, the zodiacs. They never leave me. Ever. That's how it is." Akito stops and looks Tohru in the eye. Suddenly, she strikes Tohru with her palm in the face, sending Tohru heavily falling to the ground. "You tried to take people away from me!" Akito pushes Tohru on the side of the head, leaving the younger girl laying on her side in the dirt. "You're trying to break the curse aren't you?! For Kyou?!" Another punch, Tohru's face slammed back into the ground. "You trying to make him happy?! You trying to make yourself happy?!" The black haired female kicks the girl on the floor in the stomach, Tohru now coughing up splirts of blood. She hacks and coughs, airways contaminated with the thick red substance. "If I'm not happy, no one can be happy!! DO YOU HEAR ME?!" Kicked again. "YOU BITCH!"

A strike to the chest causes Tohru to be thrown onto her back, winded by the impact. She gasps for air.

“ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?! HOW DARE YOU LOVE THE PEOPLE BELOW ME! ESPECIALLY KYOU. HE IS GOOD FOR NOTHING AND WILL BE CONFINED WITHIN 3 DAYS. THAT WAS HIS DESTINY FROM THE START. THE USELESS CAT TO BE ISOLATED. FOR BEING THE UGLY CREATURE THAT IS HIS 'TRUE FORM'. TRULY A MONSTER. YOU COULD'VE SAVE HIM FROM THE CURSE. BUT YOU DIDN'T."

Akito wields a knife, raising it above her head and sliding it across Tohru's arm. Blood flows from the injured girls limb, Tohru numb and beaten.

"YOU'RE USELESS."  
Akito slices again.

HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU.  
Once more.

HE WILL HATE YOU FOREVER.  
Slice.

HE WILL DIE LONELY AND COLD BECAUSE OF YOU.  
Again.

YOU FAILED HIM.  
Again.

YOU DIDN'T LOVE HIM ENOUGH.

IT'S YOUR FAULT. 

IT'S YOUR FAULT. 

IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!" Akito makes one last slash, before dropping the knife and heaving. She was tired. Tohru laid there under Akito, silent and still. "It's okay." Akito's eyes snap to the girl under her. "What?!" She grunts angrily. Tohru looks at Akito, eyes barely able to stay open. "It's okay… Akito… "Its okay. Its okay to let people go. I had to let go of my mother when she passed away. I didn't want to. But I had to. It'll be okay Akito. I promise…" Tohru says weakly, words barely recognisable over the thundering rain. Akito stands swiftly and backs away in fear. "STOP TRYING TO WIN ME OVER. YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE ALONE! YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND MY PAIN! YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND OUR PAIN!! STOP ACTING LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT REAL PAIN FEELS LIKE!!" Akito whimpers, watching in horror as Tohru slowly picks herself off the ground. "It's okay Akito… We all feel lonely sometimes… that's why we have friends who are there for each other…" She stands up straight. Akito cries, raging emotions dominating her logical thinking. "Here. You're not alone anymore. Akito. I am here for you. I will be your friend." Tohru reaches out her hand, blood gushing from her arm at an alarming rate. "Pleased to meet you Akito. My name is Tohru Honda. Would you like to be friends?" Tohru closes her eyes with a smile, completely disregarding the immense pain coming from her limb. Akito hesitates. "You won't be alone anymore Akito. I care for you. And I will be here for y-" Before she could finish her sentence, the ground begins to crumble beneath her feet. Without warning, a landslide forms, and the edge that Tohru was standing on, crumbles. Akito watches frozen, as Tohru plunges down the side of the cliff.


	4. four

Back at the house, Yuki reads silently, listening to the rain slam onto the roof of his room. He managed to calm himself down from the dispute earlier, though he was still worried about how Tohru was holding up. The stupid cat, after all this time, still isn't able to control his emotions. "Tsch." He clenches his teeth with frustration. -"And after all this he's still going to find some way to feel sorry for himself."- The trip hadn’t even gone on for a whole day, and it was disastrous. Rustling from the nearby shrubbery broke Yuki’s concentration on the novel and looks up from his book towards the source of the noise. A frail, sickly figure scrambles towards the boy, a visibly horrified and equally stressed expression plastered on her face. Yuki was cautious of the individual, who he identified as she came close. “What do you want…” He asks Akito, his heartbeat rising nervously in the woman’s presence. “I-IT’S TOHRU… S-S-SH” Akito clutches Yuki’s shirt, her knees collapsing from the strength she used to sprint to find help. “S-SHE FELL. T-THE CLIFF. SHE FELL!” Akito screams at the now alarmed boy, who immediately gets up and races out of the house, into the forest that Akito darted from. He followed the messy tracks made from Akito’s shoes, shielding his eyes from the pouring rain. Akito sat by Yuki’s chair, her mind going haywire. She grabs herself off the floor, stumbling towards the nearest phone. Dialling a number with a single lanky finger and placing the phone to her ear, a deep voice answers. “Yes… I am ready to be picked up.” She listens to the response on the other end. “I had something to do. Come now and maybe I’ll tell you.”

Yuki continues running, slipping various times on the muddy forest floor. His ankles were now aching from the amounts of force exerted on them as he ran faster and faster. Low branches whipped him in the face, his feet caught under roots sticking out from the ground. His mind was running wild, preparing for what situation he would find Tohru in. 

-“How far did she fall?

Where was she?

Was she hurt?

Was she nearby?

Was she awake?

Was she… alive?”-

The rain showed no signs of slowing anytime soon, but Yuki powered forward. He reached a hill which had footsteps going up the slope. -”Must be around here.”- He scales the hill, searching around for any evidence. His breath caught in his throat as his eyes met the sight before him: pools and pools of blood, as well as various small imprints which appeared to be footprints. Signs of a struggle. -”What did Akito do?!”- His eyes widen in horror as he spots it. The edge of the cliff, he could see the landslide. He slowly walks towards it cautiously, and looks down. There, to his shock, was a brunette girl, some 15 metres down on the ground, bleeding furiously from the arm, and unmoving. 

“TOHRU.” Yuki screams, running back down the hill to find a safe route to reach her. His heart had never pounded more aggressively, his breath had never hyperventilated this hard. He could not think straight, panicking and hysterical. He reached the bottom of the hill and races towards his friend, kneeling beside her. He weeps, reaching his hand out to grab her hand. His hand was violently shaking, breathing just as shaky. “T-Tohru..” He cries, desperately pressing his ear to her chest. 

Thank god. A heartbeat.

He takes her hand in his, holding it beside his distraught face, drenched with both tears and rain. “Yu…” Yuki is stunned, leaning closer to Tohru’s face. “Tohru? I-I’m here!” He cries, moving strands of wet hair from her eyes. “Yu-ki… I’m okay…” She says barely audible. Yuki cries harder. “You’re not okay Tohru… You can say you’re not okay sometimes Tohru..” He sobs, gripping her hand. “I’m going to get help.. O-Okay?” Yuki says, clutching her hand one last time before standing weakly and leaving the barely conscious girl reluctantly.

Nearby Kyou, had been trudging through the shrubbery, pondering on the toxic thoughts in his mind. He would’ve continued but heard a voice scream out his love’s name. He knew something was wrong. His animal instinct. He ran as fast as he could towards the area he heard Tohru’s name, panting with fatigue. Surprised, he is met with the view of Yuki running towards him. Yuki notices Kyou and immediately glares. “You fucking did this.” He says harshly, barging straight into Kyou, sending the orange haired boy flying back. “You never consider how she feels! You never think of others!” Yuki screams over the roaring rain, striking Kyou’s face every sentence. “It’s your fault! SELFISH CAT!” The silver haired individual lands one last punch before grunting and continuing on his path to the house. Regaining his vision, Kyou holds a hand up to his aching cheek, looking over to where Yuki was running from. A few metres away, he saw her. 

His heart stopped.

His stomach dropped.

Then, his heart kicked into overdrive.

“No..”

His breath grew short and wheezy.

“Tohru..”

He stumbled, attempting to get up, but his beaten body refusing to comply. 

He crawled across the forest floor, leaves and mud sticking to his pants.

His eyes fixated on her immobile body.

“Tohru..” He choked, unable to say anything more.

He reaches the side of her, still in extreme shock. He reaches for her face, stroking her cheek with his thumb gently and slowly. Immediately, he breaks down, gripping her shoulders, pulling her towards his trembling body. “I’m so sorry..” He chokes, sobbing between every word. 

“I’m sorry Tohru…

I’m sorry. 

I’m so… sorry…”

He cries in the nape of her neck, unable to halt his shakiness. After an extended hug, he hesitant places her on her back again, leaning over her, still unable to process his shock.

“I’m okay…” 

Kyou’s eyes shoot open, cradling her in his arms, and looking at her face. She was extremely weak, barely able to keep her eyes open. Her eyelids fluttered from the drops of rain, mouth slightly parted. “It’s okay…. Kyou… I’m okay…” She weakly says, each word barely making it out. Then, Tohru passes out silently, eyes gently closing again. “T-Tohru?! Tohru!” Kyou cries, cupping her cheek in his palm. He cries again, stroking her face. 

He looks at her face, weak, barely alive, but still beautiful. 

He gently places his lips against hers, the first kiss to have ever been shared by them. He never thought it would be in such dire circumstances. Tears streamed down his face as he held his face on hers, pouring all his emotions into the action.

“Did I reach you?”

 

\-------

 

Many hours later, the emotion in the house was extremely melancholic. Tohru had been carried back to her room by Hatori, who had been called by Yuki in an emergency. He arrived on scene within minutes, examined her, tended to her wounds, and changed her into clean, warm clothes for her to sleep in. The three boys waited nervously in the living room outside her room, worried sick for their friend. He emerged from the bedroom after an hour, and suggested taking her into hospital tomorrow, let her rest for the night. He showed himself out and left, requesting an update on Tohru's condition tomorrow. Momiji laid by Tohru's bed, sobbing quietly. A banquet for the hotspring customers is served in the main hall, but only Yuki and Momiji go. After about half an hour, Yuki returns their room, a plate of food for his injured friend in his hands. With one hand, he knocks on her door, before letting himself in. Tohru looks over, smiling weakly. "O-Oh Yuki… You made dinner?" Yuki sits by her bed, grabbing the food tray beside her bed for her and placing it on her lap as she slowly sat up. "I'm sorry for making you go through that trouble." She apologises. "It's so like you to apologise when you're the one that deserves all the apologies." He places the plate in front of her, smiling as her eyes light up. "It looks delicious Yuki wow!" She tried lifting her arm, but didn't comply, sitting slump next to her. "It does doesn't it?" He says softly "That's how you know I didn't cook it." He smiles again, still trying to look genuinely happy. She smiles in return, before beginning on her food. She eats slowly, admiring every mouthful. -"Too pure."- Yuki tells himself, staying to take her plate once she finished. 

The last of her meal was put into her mouth, and she clasps her hands together weakly. "Thank you so much for bringing food for me Yuki!" She says, still extremely weak in her vocals. Yuki felt an ache in his throat, the type you felt when you hold back your tears. It grew only more painful, more, more, more. Until Yuki broke down into tears again, unable to hold them back. 

Tohru looks at him concerned, placing her bandaged hand on his head. "Y-Yuki… Are you okay?" Tohru asks concerned. Yuki looks up from his hands, wiping away his tears. "Why you…" he sobs. Tohru's face gazes at him with concern. "Out of all people… Why does this happen to you. You don't deserve any of this." Tohru stays silent. "You had all this happen to you. All because of us. And still… STILL you care about me. And ask how I am…" Yuki is unable to refrain from his eyes weeping, sobbing vulnerably in front of his close friend. Tohru smiles warmly. "It's because I care about you Yuki. I care about all of you. You, Momiji, Kagura, Hatori…." She gazes at her bracelet. "And Kyou." Yuki looks in her eyes, smiling weakly. "You really are amazing." He sighs, removing the items off her lap and helping her to lie down. Yuki smiles at Tohru one last time, gaining his composure and stands to walk out of the room with the dish. "U-Uhm!" Tohru begins, Yuki looking back at the girl who reached her hand weakly out to him. "Y-Yuki… Can… Uhm…" Her already quiet voice trails off more. "Can you stay with me... Please?...Until I fall asleep.” Yuki nods without hesitation. He places the plate on the floor in the hall, and walks back in, shutting the door behind him. "Of course." He answers, sitting back down. He leans over to the bed, resting his arms next to Tohru, head on his arms. They both gently gaze at each other lovingly, a very relaxed and at-peace aura fills the room. They listen to the still-pouring rain, which now radiated a very zen feel to it.

They sat in silence for many minutes, Tohru's eyes slowly closing through the time. Yuki himself found his body growing tired beside her. 

"Yuki… Thank you for everything…" The silence was broken by Tohru's sweet voice.

Yuki's eyes open to look at Tohru, and his eyes meet hers. 

"You have nothing to thank me for." He says in an almost whisper.

"I do… You've done so much for me." 

Yuki looks into her eyes deeply, absorbing her words.

She sighs, closing her eyes. 

"This is just like all those nights we spent together.

You helping me study for my tests...

You teaching me more about how to care for gardens and grow the nicest of vegetables and fruits…

Me toweling down your forehead while you were sick...

Us talking about… Things that troubled us…

I cherish all those memories I made with you Yuki..."

Yuki is flattered, and reaches for her hand. 

"I cherish those moments too. I enjoy being around you."

Tohru's face lights up, the purest of smiles spread on her pale face. 

"Is Kyou still mad at me?.." Her voice's tone drops to a more solemn one, eyes shooting back to Yuki's with worry.

Yuki's expression hardens and he sits up slightly. "Don't worry about him. I'll make sure he feels guilty for what he said to you."

"N-No it's okay, I uh… I just feel bad for making him angry… I didn't mean to…"

"You didn't do anything wrong! Kyou was just being an idiot! Believe me!" He clutches her hand, pleading her to listen to him.

She is slightly stunned by his eagerness, and her expression softens in relief. "Okay."

The two sit in silence for a moment. 

Yuki hesitates. “Is that why you asked me to stay with you and not Kyou? Are you still upset over what he said?” Yuki looks into Tohru’s tired eyes.

“You’re really going to make me say it…” She mumbles, looking at Yuki's hand who was still holding hers. 

Yuki looks at Tohru, a slight confusion in his gaze.

Tohru looks shyly at the boy across from her.

"W-Why would I want him…" 

"W-Why?" Yuki tilts his head. "You two are inseparable." He says, slightly laughing. His laughter is cut short when a thought pierces his thoughts. -"Yea. Inseparable… Until today"-

Tohru's eyes widen. "E-Even if that was true…" 

Her voice trails off, head falling to the bed sheets nervously. Yuki looks at her curiously, unsure where this is going.

"H-He's not… The person I care about the most…"

Yuki pauses.

"I..."

His heart rate picks up.

"H-Huh…?" Yuki stammers, unsure if what he heard was correct.

"I love you Yuki…" Tohru says, intertwining her fingers with his.

Yuki freezes.

\--

Back in the main house in the master bedroom, two dark haired individuals untangle their bodies from one another and lie beside each other exhausted.

"You took a while on the phone earlier…" Akito gasps, her breath slowing down. "Who could be calling you at this hour?" Shigure combs his fingers through his hair. "Ah, that would've been Yuki. He was just updating me on how things were at the hot springs." "Hmmm?~" Akito caresses Shigure's chest, huddling closer to him under the blankets for warmth from the cold weather outside. "Tohru seems in a less-than-ideal condition. You didn't tell me you were going to see them." Shigure shifts to lie on his side, facing the woman beside him. He recollects what Yuki had told him for a moment, while Akito stared at him. “And you said this was your plan all along? To go for Tohru?” Shigure wraps his arm around his lover, who smiles slyly. “My intent was never to find Tohru. I wanted Kyo. I wanted to remind him his time is running out. I just happened to run into Tohru out there… I can use her to get what I want from Kyo.” “And what’s that?” “Loyalty.” Shigure fumbles with Akito’s hair, which he was responsible for messing up earlier. “The other members of the clan seem to be weak against words. I planned to just say a few things to her to change her mind about Kyo. Mother nature did the rest for me.” She says with an uncomfortably casual, yet sinister tone. “Is that how she got all those wounds on her arms?” Shigure asks playfully, masking his disapproval with a cheeky tone. “Self defence, she attacked me first!” She punches Shigure, who grunts upon impact, but relaxes after the woman begins tracing her finger again along his neck. “I don’t care for the girl, she’s irrelevant. Yuki will never love an ugly girl like her anyway.” “You sounded pretty nervous for her wellbeing before Akito. Yuki told me you were desperate to get her help.” Shigure questions, directing Akito’s face gently towards his, and kissing her deeply. Akito pulls back. “It’s Kyo I want to see suffer. She needs to live so she can cause him pain. Kyo deserves punishment.” Shigure closes his eyes and sighs, laying back down. “For being the cat?”  
Akito sits up, hiding her exposed body with the sheets. “That was always the destiny of those cursed by the cat was it not?!” She grins at Shigure, eyes wide and a small chuckle escaping her throat. Such- Such VILE CREATURES- THEY’RE NOT MEAN TO BE OUT! HAVING FUN! FALLING IN LOVE! LIVING! THEY SHOULD DIE! YOU ALL SHOULD DIE! KYO MOST IMPORTANTLY! FUCKING CAT! SHOULD’VE NEVER BEEN BORN!” She laughs maniacally, before snapping back to her deathly silent persona. She reaches for her kimono on the floor, wrapping it around her and walking towards the window.

"How unfortunate. 

Two unfortunate lovers. 

Both with unfortunate circumstances.

One, with the inability to remember.

The other… the inability to forget.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things will begin to become more dramatic from this chapter onwards. I hope I have your attention now~ Thank you always for reading, please continue to look forward to more chapters! ♡


	5. five

The morning sun peeps over the horizon, and light floods into their rooms. The small drops of fresh dew glisten on the window, casting small shiny reflections on the walls. Tohru stirred in her bed. Her eyes slowly gained motion under her closed eyelids. Then some gentle flickering. A slight head toss or two, and she was finally awake. She opens her eyes, and hazily examines her surroundings. She’s slightly stunned by the view in front of her: The Prince himself, head on his arms, sleeping quietly. She strokes his head and smiles warmly. “Good morning~”

Kyou stumbles down the hall silently, visibly shook over the ordeal that took place the day before. He reaches into the fridge, obtaining a carton of milk before slamming it shut in frustration. He paces around the room, consuming his liquid breakfast, when he notices a note on the table. It had cursive writing all over, and some red patch in the bottom corner. As he approached the paper, and focused his eyes on it, his pupils shrink in fear. 

“Kyou. We have matters to discuss.  
I’m sure you knew this day was coming.  
It’s about time you pay me a visit, regarding the circumstances.  
Or you can skip again - you saw what happened to your sweet flower.  
Want me to try harder at killing her this time?"

His heartbeat picked up drastically. He couldn’t stand the visions in his head. What he saw the night before was traumatizing enough. Anything more... 

"A ride will be arranged for you in the morning. Tell anyone and you’ll have more regret and guilt than you already possess.”

There was no signature, just a large, prestigious, crimson Sohma crest. Kyou’s stomach rolled. He knew he couldn’t escape from the fate of the cat.  
He knew it, but never admitted it.

-

“Huh?.. Why did Kyou leave?” Tohru asks Momiji clueless. “I guess he got bored… Makes me sad, I paid for it too!” Momiji pouts, clutching Tohru’s hand for sympathy. Tohru frowns with concern. “I hope he is okay.” Momiji’s bubbliness resurfaces, heading out towards the baths. “It just means we’ve gotta have fun on behalf of Kyou!~ Come on! Let’s have a bath together!” Momiji chirps. “Sure!” Tohru agrees, smiling and turning to re enter her room to retrieve a towel for herself. After entering, she’s faced with the now-awake Yuki, who pats down his shirt, which was crinkled from sleeping in it. “Oh Yuki! Good morning, did you sleep well?” Tohru smiles, clasping her hands together in her lap. Yuki smiles softly, nodding. “Mm. I hope I didn’t snore.” “No no not at all! You were incredibly peaceful and didn’t budge a single inch! I hope you were comfortable! Were you warm?” Immediately, she panics “GAH- YOU SLEPT WITHOUT ANY BLANKETS, DO YOU HAVE A FEVER?!” She cries, resting the palm of her hand on Yuki’s smooth forehead, under his shiny, silky bangs. She tries to focus on registering if there was a burning sensation under her hand, but could help but feel only a burning…. In her face. “I’m fine, trust me.” Yuki says, chuckling, gently removing her hand from his head. He looks at her now-pink face, which stared nervously back at him. The boy’s smile fades, a more solemn look replaced it. “Tohru…” He began. “You meant it?... What you said... Last night?...” Tohru blinked, trying to register the question given, and not the person who asked. She remembers, going even rosier, and shying back slightly. “Y-Yes.” She says nervously, worried at the Prince’s reaction. “I-Is it bad?” Tohru looks away, wondering if her choice to confess last night was not wise. Yuki hesitated at his answer, understanding her circumstances a little better now. -“How hard did she hit her head… to confuse us?”- Yuki reassures the brunette, who had lost a lot of colour in her face. “N-No no it’s not bad.” He tells her optimistically. “Just waking up still, hard to register things at the moment.” He rubs the back of his head, Tohru looking less concerned now. “Are you off to have a bath?” “Yes! Momiji and I are.” Tohru walks past the boy, reaching for the wardrobe to get a towel. “I hope not together. That sly bunny is the type to attempt that.” “Aw it’s okay, he’s only little.” “Little? I’m not sure you know what you’re talking about…”

-

“It has been a long standing rule that the cat…

Ugly, disgusting cat, has a time limit in which he must break the curse

Before the time of his confinement answers it’s calling.

You knew this day would come.

We all did!

hAHAHA.

YOU TRIED- YOU ACTUALLY TRIED,,,,,,

YOU THOUGHT YOU- YOU COULD CHANGE YOUR FATE?

You. Have failed. First your mother, your father, never fulfilled your mission to defeat Yuki, the entire family turned its back on you, and now, you failed Tohru...

***Oops did that one hurt?

Kyou? Are you listening?...

You failed. You’re a failure….

*****Sit up straight, get off the floor.

You lost her. You caused this….

**********Does it hurt more on your face, or your stomach.

She tried to jump off, because you hurt her….

*************You’re so used to being beaten half to death by Yuki. Yet you’re so damn weak.

This was your doing...

******Get off the floor.

Kyou...

*******GET OFF THE DAMN FLOOR. OPEN YOUR EYES.

Ky… Ar..hear..me?

*Ar..dying?...

This..yo...ult…. Yo...this..

...Kyou?... C..n..y...ear..me?

Ky……

…………..

……………….”

\- 

Another night. Another horrific night. Kyou stumbles out of the building, losing his balance and heavily dropping on the concrete path. It had been hours upon hours he spent in that room. The room reserved for Yuki. Now, his own traumatic experiences, manufactured in the same, small room. He attempts to register the surges of pure shock, panic, fear and dejection, to no prevail. Hot, burning tears sprint down his bruised cheeks, stinging as it ran into open wounds on his face. "This can't be happening.. This can't-" He attempts to pick himself off the pavement, legs shaking under the light weight of his body. Akito had never known light beatings. Only the type that gives your entire skin, a new color. He hears footsteps approaching, to which he swiftly turns towards, in fear it was Akito again, only to be faced by the sight of someone much less hostile. "What the fuck do you want." Kyou spits blood from his mouth, slightly ashamed to be seen in such a vulnerable state. "Heard about what happened." Hatsuharu says calmly, hands buried in the pockets of his jeans. "Hard to not hear Akito's screaming a few blocks down." Kyou grits his teeth in frustration and looks away. "I'm sorry." Haru says, eyeing the cat. Kyou looks at Haru, surprised at the apology. Unable to hold them back any longer, Kyou breaks into tears, collapsing to his knees once more, only adding to the already formed bruises. He cried, like he had never before. Loud and clear, not like the way he quietly suppressed his gasps usually. He had reached his limit. It was too much. His cries came from deep in his stomach, which bellowed and echoed through the melancholic night. The tears did not stop. He'd reached his limit of confining his emotions. They overflowed, like water gushing out from the open doors of a dam.  
Haru could do nothing, a slight, subtle frown appearing on his face as he watched the orange haired teen weep. "There's no way she could've just forgotten Kyou. You two seemed pretty keen on each other." Kyou doesn't say anything, his crying more quiet now. He seemed to be slowly calming down. Haru thinks.  
“Has she ever mentioned your lack of skill in bed? Maybe she got bored.” Haru says with a strangely straight face. Kyou grunts and punches the ground, leaving a crack in the cement. “N-No! We never got that far you bastard! We didn’t even get close! We didn’t even... I didn’t even get to hold her. Properly.” His voice trailing off. Not once. This fucking curse…” Haru stayed quiet, able to pick up on Kyou’s gloomy presence. He was speechless, not knowing how to help the mood.

"You know... The reason I fought with Yuki that day, after our exam...  
It was because I was angry.  
Momiji was dragging along him and that damn rat, to the hot springs, w-when... When all I wanted was to spend time with Tohru." Kyou looks at his wrist, the beads of his bracelet reflecting a pale glow from the milky moon rays. "I-I KNOW I DIDN'T HAVE MUCH TIME ANYWAY! I JUST, I WANTED TO MAKE THE MOST OF MY TIME LEFT. AND SPEND IT WITH HER!" He continues driving his fist into the ground.  
"At one point... I had hope. I had faith we would do it. We would break the curse.  
But it still hasn't broken. I thought it would…” Kyou couldn’t mask the disappointment in his voice.  
"There's no way to break it. I wanted… I wanted to spend my last moments with her." His voice drops, an unfamiliar tone in his voice. It was deep and hurtful. Something rarely used by Kyou. At least not to this extent.  
"And- NOW NOW SHE REMEMBERS NOTHING." he screams, clutching the sides of his head. 

"Nothing..."

The memories fly through his head. 

Tohru slipping on the wooden plank, and falling onto Kyou.

Tohru hitting Kyou in the face with her bag.

Tohru sitting across from him at the table, eating soup with him on a cold Winter night.

Tohru smiling brightly when Kyou said he'd go to the hot springs, for her.

Tohru blushing at Kyou's face's proximity to her own face.

Tohru's eyes sparkling at the bracelet he gave her.

Tohru clutching her bag, screaming "I've always liked the cat from the zodiac!"

Tohru hugging Kyou's leg while in his true form.

Tohru hugging Kyou in his cat form as she walked back to the house.

Tohru smiling as she talked about her mother.

Tohru spending nights on the roof with Kyou talking about the future.

"Tohru..."


	6. six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Trigger Warning]   
> 2 scenes in this chapter contain themes of suicide which may be disturbing to some readers. I have added an additional warning right before those parts. If you feel you must, please skip those areas, otherwise, thank you for reading I hope you enjoy.

"I've got a lot to say to you.  
A lot that... I don't know how to convey.  
Stuff that, I'm not sure how I'm going to handle.  
And…  
I don't know if you will handle it well either.

…

I remember your last words, right before you passed.  
They were to me.  
Your last wish, while you were alive.  
'I will never forgive you,  
if you don't protect her'.  
You wanted me to care for her.  
Keep her safe.  
Protect her."

He brings his head from his lap, which he sunk in shame earlier.

"I was able to, for a while. I kept her safe as best I could.  
Even though I tried but,  
If anything, she kept ME safe.  
She always worried about me…  
And cooked me food I liked…  
Came up to the roof with me to talk almost every night…  
Cared for me when I was sick…  
Ran after me whenever I ran from her.  
In fear.  
Like a coward!"

Kyou grits his teeth, knuckles white from the force of gripping his legs.

"She cared for me.  
And protected me.

BUT I COULDN'T!  
AND I'M SORRY."

He raises his voice, projecting the apology to the object in front of him.

He clutches his legs tighter, pleading.

"I COULDN'T DO THE SAME FOR HER. I'M SORRY I FAILED YOU. I KNOW I DID. I FAILED YOU. AND YOUR DAUGHTER. I COULDN'T PROTECT HER."

He pauses, tightness in his chest tugging at his vocal chords, leaving him struggling to talk.

"I didn't keep her safe.

If I hadn't yelled at her, she would've been safe. Unhurt.

And now she's badly injured. 

I couldn't bring myself to see her. 

They say she doesn't remember me, i-in the way we used to see each other."

Kyou inhales sharply, anger and frustration rising from inside him.

"SHE PROTECTED ME AND I COULDN'T DO THE SAME FOR HER.

AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT.

IT'S MY FAULT SHE DOESN'T REMEMBER. 

IT'S MY FAULT SHE TRIED TO JUMP OFF THAT CLIFF.

I CAUSED HER AGONY.

I DID THAT.

…

I'm sorry.

Kyou's voice grows shaky, sensing tears welling up under his bottom eyelids.

"I am willing to accept the consequence, for failing her and… Not fulfilling your last wish.

I'm sorry. 

I don't expect forgiveness.

I'm never going to forgive myself.

Never… going to forgive myself."

He stared at the tombstone which faced towards him. 

"This will be the last time I ever cause your daughter pain Kyouko. I promise.

Rest easy, knowing…

I won't be around. To hurt her anymore."

-

Behind him, footsteps.

Approaching him, heels clacking on the concrete footpath.

"It's been 2 days Kyou. Where the hell have you been." Says a low and intimidating voice.

"Today was her last day in hospital. Expected you would've came and visited at least once."

He knew exactly who it was, considering the location he was in. A graveyard. In front of Kyouko Honda's resting place. 

None other, than Tohru's two best friends.

Uo took the liberty of breaking the silence again, Hana quietly walking next to her.

"What's your deal?! Go apologise to TOHRU. SHE'S THE ONE WHO WAS PHYSICALLY HURT. THE LEAST YOU COULD'VE DONE WAS CHECK IF SHE'S ALRIGHT."

"IT'S BETTER IF THAT DAMN RAT IS THERE. YUKI IS THE ONE SHE CARES ABOUT, NOT ME DAMMIT. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ANYTHING?!" 

"She may not remember her romantic feelings for you, but that doesn't mean she doesn't care about you at all." Hana chimes in, her monotone voice just as intimidating as Uo's more aggressive approach.

Kyou exhales, still facing away from the two.

"You should've seen so yourself. At school, before this happened, Tohru did love you romantically, but she also loved Yuki.

In a way a person loves her dear friends.

She still loves you Kyou. Even if it means not in the way she used to. But she still does love you, very much." Hana's speech slows towards the end, which hit Kyou hard.

"Don't go making damn excuses you idiot! It's not like she hates you or anything! Tohru could never hate anyone!" Uo points angrily at the boy. 

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself AND FIGURE OUT WHO IS REALLY DESERVING OF SYMPATHY RIGHT NOW."

The two girls stood in silence, while Kyou sat frozen, unable to react. 

His head had dropped again in shame, which he couldn't pry from his knees.

The two females walk in front of him towards the tombstone, placing various bright flowers in front of it.

Pure white roses, shades of pink, light blue, pastel purple and yellow brighten the gloomy object.

Then, they walk back behind him and begin to head towards the entrance of the graveyard.

"I hear them."

Hana turns to Kyou.

"Your waves. I hear them.

Screaming...

I understand, you're in pain. Your waves tell me that.

But you should have to found it in yourself, to tell her you're sorry. 

You should've gotten it off your chest.

Not just for the sake of her.

But for yourself too."

"Should've?" Kyou repeats. "Are you saying I can't now? 

I'll go to the hospital after."

"No. You will not."

Kyou finds the strength in himself to snap his hear towards the girls, in disbelief of what Hana said.

"It has been too long now. Tohru was already discharged from the hospital this morning and will be tended to by the Sohma family doctor. He said he will help her regarding the concussion she contracted."

Kyou doesn't believe it.

He finally gained the courage to see her. 

All for nothing.

-"It has been 2 days Kyou"-

Today. Today was the last day.

"N-No you don't understand, I need to see her. At least once before-"

"Before what huh?! What was SO important to you that you couldn't spare AN HOURE OF YOUR TIME to go see Tohru?! What makes you so desperate now??!!"

Kyou picks himself off the ground. "You don't understand. I need to see her today."

"You are banned from seeing Tohru for the next week. If you do not comply we will do all means necessary to make sure you do not reach her." 

"We're her friends you know. Trying to protect her. Something you should've done." Uo says, calmer now.

The two girls turn and leave, exiting the same way they entered.

Kyou stands there, head down, feeling nothing.

"It's over then."

-

Tohru enters the room, holding onto Hatori's arm, who he had offered as a means of support. "The anesthetic will wear off soon. You'll be able to walk properly in about an hour." The tall man explains, guiding her towards the middle of his office.

Tohru barely stayed on her feet, wobbling from side to side. She had endured amounts of check ups and tests for any worse damage to her head. But the hospital gave the green light for her to be discharged, under the condition she is supervised for the next few days by a medical professional.  
"Sit here, make yourself comfortable." He gently helps her to the ground. "I'm going to get a few things, please try to relax."

Tohru sits calmly on the tatami mats beneath her knees, patiently waiting for Hatori to re-enter the room. She had been called in the day before, for what seemed to be something important. The girl smiled at the memories that flowed through her mind. This exact position she sat in, this exact room, she had relived this moment. The past moment wasn't exactly ideal, but she had no worries. She wasn't scared, Hatori was a good man, and she had full faith in him.  
-"I wonder what I'm here for."-

Outside the door, stood Yuki. He had come to the main house to care for Tohru if Hatori needed. He kept a wary distance from the doorway, with just enough proximity to the two that he can just hear their voices. A knot of guilt forms in his stomach. -"Please let this work."-

Hatori returns a minute or so later, a very warm-looking blanket draped from his arm. He approaches Tohru and bends down beside her, beginning to place the blanket on the floor. "Oh excuse me!" Tohru began to stand to move out of his way, but Hatori gently placed his hand on her leg. "It's fine, I need you there." He says quietly, smoothing the blanket behind her evenly, and placing a small pillow at the end of it. "O-Oh is someone sleeping here?" Tohru questions his intent,as Hatori stood and walked to his desk. "No, it's for you." He replies, unable to look at her. "For me?" She hypothesises reasons for her requiring the set up. "I'm comfortable, I don't need to lie down I'm okay I promise! The floor is very comfortable!" She says happily, a closed eye smile on her face. Hatori doesn't reply, sitting heavily in his leather chair. Tohru opens her eyes, concerned at his silence. Her confidence before, about coming here for no bad reasons, was beginning to wilt. "Is.. Everything okay?"

Hatori sighs, hand massaging his temple. He was visibly distressed, something he's normally particularly good at masking. 

"Yuki has requested something from you. Something I'm not sure if you'd be willing to go through with."

"H-huh…?" 

"If you allow me to explain why we are making this decision, I'm hoping you'll understand why this is best for you." Hatori's smooth, deep voice was always calming. Except for now. That buttery texture, mixed with his dialogue, sent chills down Tohru's spine. She was beginning to feel unsettled.

Tohru tilts her head. "I'd be willing to do anything for Yuki! H-He's already given me so much, I… I'd be selfish to not do this one thing for him!"

Hatori sighs.

"Yuki wants your memories removed. Of you loving him."

"...W-What?"

-

[Trigger Warning]

He walks down the last few steps from the staircase.

No other person entered the boys peripheral vision. 

It was silent. 

Dead silent.

Kyou too, was silent.

Everything. Was silent.

Except, his mind.

His mind, his thoughts, his conscience. 

All loud.

Yelling.

Thrashing.

Screaming.

Wreaking a havoc never known to the young man.

He began to slip under.

Slowly.

But surely.

-"You failed. 

You failed, Kyou.

Your time is up. 

You did nothing with your life.

You wasted all your time, loving someone who ended up forgetting you.

You wasted your time, trying to find ways to break a curse which is inevitable.

You failed everyone.

You're such a failure.

You made your mother kill herself.

You made your love attempt to kill herself.

You deserve the same fate."-

-

"N-No… No please!" Tohru pleads the man in front of him, who knelt in front of her to try calm her down.

"Please. Please. Hatori."

"We're hoping by removing the memories fabricated by your mind, it will leave you with the ability to comprehend the true memories you obtained once. You haven't forgotten your memories. You have just mixed up the people."

"But, these ARE my true memories! I wouldn't lie to you Hatori!"

Hatori holds her hands in his, looking at her blue eyes deeply. "I'm aware you're not lying, Tohru. You've just mixed up the people you made those memories with."

"H-How? They… They feel so real. So powerful." Tohru sobs quietly. "Whenever I'm around Yuki, my heart races. He's so kind, and such a gentleman.

I am so happy to have met him. And I'm even happier to have fallen in love with him… I want to stay with him!"

Hatori's breath hitches in his throat. He had heard those exact words before. 

"Please Hatori… I haven't asked for much in my life. I have always tried to look out for others. I've always put others before myself. That's how I was raised. And I'm happy to be like that." Tohru looks up at Hatori, a distraught look on his face. 

"Please. I need my memories of Yuki. Even if he doesn't love me back. That's okay." She smiles, tears still rolling down her face.

Hatori lets go of her hand with one of his own, and places it over her eyes.

"Please Hatori. I love him."

"It's not who you truly love. Have faith in me."

Tohru gently clutches Hatori's hand, which was clasped across her face. She cries harder, and squeezes his hand.

Yuki falls to the ground softly, the guilt in his stomach eating him alive. He had never heard her plead so badly for something. She's never pleading for something. And the one time she did. It is about to be taken from her.

"Please… Tell Yuki I love him… Hatori..."

Through the gaps between his fingers, Tohru catches a glimpse of the bracelet wrapped snuggly around her wrist.

-"Where did I get this... It looks like Kyou's...

Did Kyou give it to me?

Why would he give me his bracelet...

Why would he give me..."-

...

?

!

-"Kyou. 

The curse.

Confinement. 

Today."-

She can't take her eyes off it. She stares, for what seems like forever. And just like that. Click.

Her mind surges. Like a 100 perfectly sculpted keys to unlock her true memories, she could feel everything reformulating to their original forms. Tohru closes her eyes and focuses on all the regained memories. The true ones. Everything was making sense. That bracelet, held so much emotional meaning and value, it cleared the foginess in her mind. Tohru's eyes shot open.

-"It's Kyou. It's Kyou that I…"-

"H-Hatori!! I remember!!! It's Kyou!! Kyou's the one that I -"

 

*******************  
*******************  
*******************

 

A flash of blinding white light blasts through the room. 

Tohru is flung backwards, landing heavily on the blanket and pillow behind her.

...

Hatori is frozen in disbelief, unable to move.

-"Did I just..."-

-

[Trigger Warning]

He stares at the ground, a brightly painted yellow line a few centimetres from the top of his shoes.

'Do not cross. Stay behind the yellow line.'

-"You're just a waste of space.

Everybody hates you.

You don't have a reason to be here.

What your father said is true. 

Every. Single. Word.

You tried to trick yourself into thinking you're not what he said, didn't you?

Do you see now? 

You are what he said.

You're useless.

And pathetic.

You should've never been born.

All you do is hurt people.

The person you said you loved right? Tohru?

She could have died.

You could've become a murderer.

A criminal.

Who deserves to be locked up.

Punished.

Killed.

People like you… they don't deserve to live.

To breathe oxygen.

To enjoy the great things in life.

Why would someone like YOU deserve that?

Go on. Do it.

Do it.

Do it Kyou.

All it takes is 2 steps.

2 steps, and you're free.

Free of Akito.

Free of the guilt.

Free of the curse.

Do it.

This is what you deserve.

What's taking you so long?

Is it because you thought you'd die some other way? 

HAHAH.

YOU'RE WRONG.

YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD GROW OLD, WITH YOUR CHILDREN, GRANDCHILDREN, YOUR LOVED WIFE, TOGETHER.

You're pathetic.

This is how you die.

Die.

DIE.

DIE AT THE HANDS OF YOURSELF.

DIE.

DIE."-

The train approaches in the distance, Kyou's heartrate picks up momentum, hands trembling with fear and adrenaline.

-"DIE.

DIE.

DIE. 

DO IT KYOU.

DIE.

COWARD.

DIE.

HURRY UP.

DIE.

SUFFER NO MORE.

DIE.

DIE.

DIE.

DIE.

DIE.

DIE.

DIE.

DIE.

DIE.

DIE.

DIE.

DIE."-

Kyou takes a lengthy step towards the end of the platform, his toes curling over the ledge.

He could see it. 

The aftermath if he were to go through with it.

Blood, everywhere.

Brain matter, scattered.

Limbs, severed.

Head, decapitated.

Nothing scared him. He felt nothing.

Nothing, except the raging pumps of his heart.

The noise continued.

The vengeful screams of bloodlust, his blood, the rest of the worlds noise blocked out of his head.

The train grew closer and closer.

"Die."

Kyou shifted all his weight to the front of his feet, the imbalance throwing him downwards, towards the tracks below him.


	7. seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the unorderly uploads. I have been deathly unmotivated with things lately. Hope you enjoy the chapter, despite it being short.

Kyou's eyes shoot open, feeling his body's motion halted suddenly. He's forcefully pulled back, landing hard on his back. The train roars past, centimetres from his feet. Air blows harshly against his body, causing his eyes to flicker, his hair flowing wildly as well. He was slightly panting, a tiny sense of relief entering his mind. He composes himself, after a few seconds, and gains enough courage to look at the person who had saved him. His eyes met with theirs, and his relief diminishes.

"Kyou-chan. What are you doing?" Akito asks, smugly grinning at the boy below him. Kyou doesn't reply. "Trying to change your fate hm?~" No reply. The adult kneels down, placing too fingers under the teens chin and directing his face towards hers. "You knew I wouldn't let you do that right?" Still no reply. Kyou felt nothing. He could not bear to look at the opposing person. His eyes were fixated on the ground, blocking out all of Akito’s words. He wanted to cry, but felt no tears forming in his eyes. He wanted to scream, but felt no voice in his throat. "Come on. Let's go home. I have your room prepared." She stands, looking down at Kyou. He doesn't move, sparking Akito’s quick fuse. "Hur-ry up! Stop stalling, you bastard." The dark haired individual says through gritted teeth, pulling the bright orange hair of the person on the ground. "You have nothing left to live for anyway! Just obey me you useless coward!"

To Akito's surprise, he feels movement under her palm. She looks down at Kyou, and watches as he slowly stands. One leg. Then one knee. Then the other leg. Now fully standing, he is still unable to look at her. "You're right." Kyou murmurs. "I do have nothing to live for."

-

"So... you're saying she has no way of remembering her feelings for Kyou at all now?" Shigure asks with a heavy heart, turning to his friend. Hatori brings his lips to this cigarette, inhaling deeply, before blowing the smoke out his nostrils. He stares at the ceiling, before gazing at Tohru again, who was still peacefully asleep on the blanket. His eyes lay there for a moment, listening to the faint ticking of his desk clock.


	8. eight + final

10 years later.

-"10 whole years without you.   
Deprived of your warmth.  
Lost without you as my light.  
The darkness cascades as far as my blurry vision dares to venture.  
How did I live this long without you."-

He stirs.  
Mumbles incoherent noises.  
Weakly lifts his arm, bringing it to his eyes.  
Rubs them softly, before opening.  
Focuses his tired vision on the view.  
Stares at the drab concrete ceiling above him.  
Lays there, the cold winter air summoning goosebumps all over his body.  
Mind filled with nothing.  
Same as every day.

 

He sits up slowly, body aching intensely. Despite having slept on the same dirty, cold, concrete floor for a decade now, he had never adapted to it's unforgiving uncomfort. His quiet eyes shift to the left of him, analysing the structure for a moment. He crawls on all fours, towards the side of the room, and staring at the writing engraved in front of him. His fingers trail across the ground, coming on contact with a small object. His dainty fingers wrap around it slowly, and pick it off the floor.

Kyou lifts his hands to the wall, chains around his wrists clinking together with his every move. His bruised, and bony knuckles clutch the stone between his fingers, resting one hand on the wall, the other directing the stone towards it. scratches deeply into the solid rock, a line, next to many, many, many others. Above the collection of tallies, etched rawly; 

'Days you have lived happily without me.'

-

A long way away, in a city far from the Sohma family estate, another individual slowly wakes from her slumber. She pulls her body off the mattress, before stretching and moaning tiredly. Cheerfully, the brunette throws of the heavy doona and sheets, and opens the curtains of her room. Light floods in, birds sing quietly, and she grins happily. -"Blessed with another beautiful day."- 

She hurries to her wardrobe excitedly, picking out clothes and closing the door of her ensuite behind her.  
Freshly showered and dressed, she adjusts her heels and grabs her purse.  
"I'll be out with a few friends mum! Take care of the place while I'm gone!~" She calls to the photo on her bedside table, before walking briskly out the exit of her apartment.

-

A shadow cascades through the bars of Kyou's room, blocking out what little light welcomed itself into the uninviting structure. Kyou's eyes drift solemly towards the individual.

"I am back, son."

-

"So Tohru, youre still not married? I thought you would have, you'd be such amazing wife!" The woman across from Tohru says surprised, stirring her hot beverage. "Wouldn't she?! I'm just as shocked as you are." Says another. Tohru waves her free hand panicaking. "O-Oh I don't know about that!" She replies humbly before sipping tea from her porcelain cup.   
"But thinking back, I did have a lot of kind and loving people around me when I was in high school. They were all such gentlemen, and I'm sure they'll all become great husbands." 

Tohru smiles into her cup sweetly, daydreaming of all the precious memories she made with her friends. 

-"Though the curse was never broken while I lived with them..."-   
"I hope the managed to find happiness!" Tohru grins to her friends, who look at her confused. 

-"I'm sure theres a way to break the curse. Rin mentioned it once or twice.

...

I hope they found a way. I'd hate to think Kyou is trapped in that... that..."-

"Well that's a shame Tohru!" Tohru's thoughts break from the call of her friends voice. "They should've pounced on you while they had the chance! They missed a real catch!" They all laugh together, quietly drinking their drinks and munching on warm muffins and cakes.

"Have you ever fallen in love Tohru?"  
Tohru thinks for a moment, watching as steam rises in the cold air of her mug.  
"I had to live with one of my classmates. There was also his 2 cousins. The older one was a writer, he writes really good books, I'll lend you one some time!  
The other guy who lived there, he was a sweetheart. A little feisty at times, but he knew how to care for someone." 

She ponders on the image of Kyou.

"Looking back on it now, I might have had a crush on him at some point maybe." Tohru blushes a light tint of pink, snuggling warmly into her thick winter coat.

Tohru's embarrassed mind takes over. "B-But he had this other girl who was head over heels for him. I'm sure they're probably married by now! H-He probably didn't feel the same!"

-

"You don't have to come everyday you know." Kyou says weakly, biting into an apple he received from the visitor.

"What kind of father would I be if I don't take care of my child." Kazuma says, reaching through the thick metal bars and handing him a bentou.

The grey-haired man stares at Kyou determined, watching the young adult eat emotionless. 

His heart ached. Seeing someone in so much anguish. Especially someone he loved so dearly.

 

They both sat in silence for a few moments, Kazuma's back leaning on the bars of Kyou's cage.

"You know she still wears the bracelet."

Kyou pauses from eating, holding a piece of chicken with his chopsticks.

"She walks past Ayame's shop everyday to go to work or to her local cafe.

He told me he hasn't seen her in a day without it. 

She cherishes that Kyou. 

Like a treasure."

Kyou slowly puts his food down beside him, crawling towards the corner.

Silence fills the room.

Kyou smiles weakly, his eyes welling up with tears.

He still is unable to say anything, afraid he might scream.

 

-"10 whole years without you. 

Deprived of your warmth.

Restricted from your smile.

Lost without you as my light.

The darkness cascades as far as my blurry vision dares to venture.

How did I live this long without you.

No- This is not living.

Living is foreign to me.

I am just breathing.

Barely, breathing.

I remember times where I enjoyed the simple action... of breathing.

Breathing the same air as you.

Ever so close to your lips, as I felt your breath tickle my own lips.

Times like those, I was happy to be breathing.

Sometimes, I wish I wasn't.

I wish I was robbed of my lungs, ribcage torn open, organs ripped from my chest. 

Breathing is too painful, without you.

.  
.  
.

Tohru...

You may have forgotten me. 

But I will never forget you.

I promise.

I'll never forget.

I accept my fate here.

I accept I can never escape.

And make you fall in love with me again.

I accept I am trapped here.

Damned to confinement for life.

I accept our fates to never collide again.

I accept us living in 2 parallel universes.

 

You, with the inability   
to remember.

And I, with the inabiliy   
to forget.

 

FIN.

♡

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again so much for reading my first full creation on ao3.   
> Feedback, comments, questions, kudos are all kindly encouraged and greatly appreciated.  
> Leave suggestions for my next post idea if you like~
> 
> I love you all.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading ! Kudos and feedback are always appreciated ♡Hope you enjoyeddd.


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